Sky Valley Messenger

How many FBI agents does it take to investigate a garage pull rope?

Why, fifteen, of course!

Bubba Wallace, the only full-time black driver in NASCAR, claims to be a victim of a hate crime after noting that the garage door pull-rope at the Talladega track last Sunday resembled a hangman’s noose. Never mind that all the garage doors had the same pull rope, never mind that the same rope was there last October, and never mind that fifteen FBI agents were immediately dispatched to investigate the garage pull rope. This was a crime that the FBI was determined to solve quickly. Justice would be swift and terrible.

Alas, another act of racism that never occurred.

Don’t expect Bubba to apologize. In fact, he has doubled down. The FBI agents are wrong. It’s only a matter of time that we will find out that they are all racist and must be fired and prosecuted.

PS Nice to know, in the midst of all the national monuments being vandalized and destroyed, with not a single prosecution, that we have so many FBI agents to spare for Bubba.