Fellowship vs. Church

I went to church this past Sunday, in honor of the assassination and martyrdom of Charlie Kirk. I don’t go to church very often. Jesus has been my Lord and savior sense the age of 17, I am now 71. Some might consider that feat a bit of a miracle, but in fact it is the result of countless miracles. I came to know Jesus as the Son of God during the Jesus movement in the early 70’s near Spokane, Washington. Then we were referred to as Jesus Freaks. That, primarily due to the fact that we would stand on street corners and tell passers-by that, “Jesus Loves You” and try to engage people into a conversation about Jesus, who He is and how they could have a relationship with Him as their Lord and Savior. We would pass out a news tabloid call “The Truth”, it was all about Jesus. We believed that churches were more like spiritual morgues, filled with lifeless tradition and a spiritual rendition of the living dead. We were determined to introduce to everyone that Jesus was alive and full of promise, love, joy, and eternal life. The movement was a simple faith in Christ, and that where there were three or more gathered together in the name of Jesus, that constituted the church. Church was revered to as fellowship. We sang songs about our faith and love for Jesus. It almost always involved bible studies amid questions and conversations about current issues and were frequented by personal confessions of sins followed with laying on of hands and prayer.

Like all movements it was eventually swallowed up by the complications of everyday life, disillusionment in self-proclaimed leaders and divisions.

I grew up, and at times apart from my faith. The challenges of marriage, family, work, etc. took its toll on my relationship with Jesus. That being true, Jesus was always there and as often as I stumbled Jesus would pick me up and remind me who I was and where and how to walk with Him. I would try finding fellowship with many different churches. For a time, I dedicated myself to reading the entire bible and studying both the Hebrew and Greek translations to better understand the Word of God, this went on for a number of years. In all of my walk with Christ I can honestly say that I have been punished, chastised, and tremendously blessed by my Lord and Savior. The bad was of my own doing, the blessings were from Him, and that is when the countless miracles often came into my life, of which I am a humble and grateful recipient of.

Between 17 and 71 I have lived many lives, (figure of speech), been to many churches and yet experienced little fellowship. I think church may be a place for anonymously worshiping God, but not much for personal fellowship with one another in Christ.

My wife has gone to a certain church off and on for over a year, I have only gone with her two or three times.

“You shall know them by their fruit”

I have watched an listened. I have mentioned the fellowship aspect to my wife on occasion. She tells me that they have “groups” for that. I have mostly been interested in one particular group setting, the one that involves our 13 year old, high functioning autistic son, Noah. Large churches today come prepared with age categorized groups. This is so that the adults have a place to dump their children off into the care of a church group leader, (another word for “babysitter”) so that the adults can gather together to worship God without child interruptions. I’m sure you know what I mean. Noah has gone to church every time my wife has gone. He does not like it. In all the time he has gone he has not made any friends. I do not know that anyone from his group has personally reached out to him, I don’t know either way. I do think that Noah would say so if someone approached him to be a friend, he is big on friendship. This is why he does not like to go, he doesn’t feel love or friendship, and I get that, I get that. It’s easy to blame me for not reaching out to strangers in a strange place to make friends, I’m an adult, capable of forcing myself into awkward introductions, but Noah isn’t, he’s autistic. He loves people, but if they don’t love him back, he knows that and will not want to be where he does not feel personal contact, warmth and…friendship. That’s church, not fellowship. For now, I will think about it and I will occasionally go, and Noah will go because he has to.

PS Going to church is not a bad thing.

It’s a Thing!

I pick Noah up from school every day at 2:45 pm, except on Friday, then it’s 1:30 pm. I customarily ask him how his day was. Today I asked him, and he said, “OK, except for one thing”. “Oh, what’s that?”, I asked. He paused for a few seconds and then said that he didn’t want to talk about it. I let it go then because that is not an abnormal response for him, also, somethings he will talk about more comfortably with mom than me, and I knew that she would be asking the same question when she got home from work.

About an hour later she called from work. First question out of her mouth was, “How was Noah’s day?” So I told her what he said. She replied with, “I wonder if it has anything to do with yesterdays issue.” “What was yesterdays issue?” I asked. “He got pantsed.”  “What?!!” I was floored. (I’m thinking, why wasn’t I told, I’m only the father.) So, mom tells me what happened. In the end Noah didn’t want her to say anything to the school because the boys involved were, “My friends”, and he didn’t want them to get into trouble, and besides, Noah said, “They were just fooling around and having fun.”

So sad, Noah is so desperate for friends that he would think that these guys were just being “friendly”.

When Holli got home she went to Noah and ask him how his day was. A short conversation revealed that he had been pantsed again. It was time to take action. Holli contacted the school through his teacher and the principal, informing them what had happened and demanding answers and resolution. She was told that they would look into it and informed her that “pantsing had become a thing on campus”.

Meanwhile Holli tried to explain to Noah that these guys were not his friends, and that pantsing is not a sign of friendliness.

Written April 2025

Coming of Age

Noah turned thirteen last Saturday, May the seventeenth. He woke me up at around 6 am, calling out my name, “Dad”. I got up and went to his room, just down the hallway. I poked my head in his open door, “Yes Noah, what do you need?” “I’m a teen-ager.” he said, still half asleep, yet as jubilant as he could muster. So excited, this was a day he had waited for for a long time. I had no idea just how important this day was to him. Noah thinks about many things, but he doesn’t share those thoughts readily. Every now and then something comes out of his mouth and it just kind of throws me back at how obviously he had been giving it a lot of thought. Turning thirteen was one of those things. Next thing he said was, “Can I open my presents now?” I had to tell him that he had to wait for mom to get up first, and that wouldn’t be for a while.

It was a big day for Noah, a big, outdoor party with lots of friends, a game truck, Nerf Gun battles, food and drinks, and all the presents that he had hoped for. God was kind as well, the forecast was for rain all day, but it hardly rained through out the day. Afterwards mom took him to a gathering at the Taekwondo headquarters for more games with friends, a play date event pre-scheduled for that day. When she got into the car to take him to the Taekwondo event Noah went straight to the passenger side of the front seat of the car. He was thirteen now and could legally ride in the front seat. Noah had obviously given it a lot of thought and was determined to exerciser that right. Not even the law could stop him from being a teenager. It was weird because he never seemed to talk much about it, but there was no hesitancy in the way he went directly to the front seat.

It is so strange to have him up front, but so cool at the same time. Welcome to the coming of age Noah. Your growing up so very fast.

We love you.

Haircut

Last evening Noah decided that he was done with his long hair of the past two and a half years. He declared that he wanted to go back to his “original boys hair cut”, and there was no doubt in his mind. That’s rare for Noah. Being autistic, he normally has a difficult time being sure of decisions regarding small things, let alone something as big as his hair. Noah never liked getting haircuts, and growing his hair long was a big deal to him. If you even mentioned cutting his hair he would flat out say, “no way”. He guarded his hair better than Sampson did.

I don’t know, but I think Noah really never wanted long hair. When he first decided that he wanted to grow his hair long he stated that it was because he believed that it would make him “cool”, and he thought that it would help him make friends. Two and a half years later, I think he came to realize that it didn’t help, kids didn’t become his friend because he had long hair, and so he chose to go back to what he liked.

He loves it!!! I couldn’t be prouder of him, not because he now has short hair, but because he decided, for all the right reasons that that’s what he wanted, and he was certain as gravity of that fact.

I believe that this is one of Noah’s defining moments. He has made a change in direction and it gives him more confidence, independence, and self assurance. When I look at Noah today I don’t just see a boy who looks different, I see a young man who is different and it gives me joy, and confidence in him.

Way to go Noah!!!

Noah as a Teenager

So, Noah is 13 years old, as you already know, and that seems to change everything. Noah sits in the front seat now, he’s had his mom cut his hair short, with the declaration that he will never grow his hair long again, he is eating chicken, he has started an online class called “Unity”, where he is learning computer coding and game designing, and now he is getting rid of his bunk bed for a bed with a game computer desk attached at the end. These are all sudden changes as a result of turning a teenager. Noah feels that he needs to step up to a more mature level and leave the childish things behind.  This is all on his own, and comes as a big surprise to us, his parents. Yes, he is still a child and continues to struggle with many things still attached to his immaturity, but still, wow! We’re amazed at the steps he is taking.

My Drummer Boy

I watched Noah as he slowly walked towards the school building, heading for his first class of the day, Band. Band is one of his favorite classes, he gets to beat on a drum. My little drummer boy.

It was sad to watch his slow walk. Overall, Noah does not like school, the reason is simple, Noah does not think that school likes him. He walks like a prisoner resigned to the gallows. My heart wrenches for him. He looks so alone. I don’t want him to feel the way he looks. At the same time, I am terribly proud of him. It was his decision to attend public school, versus home schooling. He goes despite the obvious dread.

In all the times I have dropped him off at school his step has never changed. He is never excited to be there. The reminds me of this every day when I wake him to get ready to go. “I don’t want to go to school,” He says, and I say, “I know.” Yet, every day he gets up, gets ready, and makes that sad, heart-breaking walk to the school building. Once upon a time he used to turn and look back to see if I was still there, he no longer does. Now he walks as one all alone, knowing that he is alone, and somewhat fearful of what the day will have in store for him. My heart is with him in all his fear and loneliness. I can’t wait to come back and pick him up.

“How was your day, Noah?”

Shunned

What happens when a special needs child sees one of his fellow students do something that causes those around to laugh. In Noah’s case he thinks the act done by his fellow student makes him popular with his peers. That means it’s something to be mimicked, even if it is inappropriate.  Noah may not be aware of the meaning of the act, or in some cases a phrase. Noah may repeat the phrase or mimic the act, and if it doesn’t result in the desired or hoped for response, he will do it over and over, hoping for that popular reaction or recognition, and acceptance by his peers. Noah, of course, has no idea why no one is laughing, he just keeps trying anyway, until someone complains. Eventually Noah is shunned for his behavior. Noah has no idea why he’s in trouble for something that others were applauded for. He has no idea why he is now being shunned by those that he just wants as friends.

Noah doesn’t understand, and it’s easier to shun than to explain. Society has been shunning special needs children for eons. It’s easy, everyone does it. Just tell them to go away, you don’t want to be friends with them. Parents tell their kids to stay away from them, they’re dangerous, don’t play with them. They will go so far as to tell the parents of a special needs child to keep their child away from their child. They don’t want to help the child understand what is not appropriate, they just want you to keep your child away from theirs.

My neighbor is that way. We were called, after 10 pm, and informed that our child behaved inappropriately with theirs and that they don’t want Noah around their child anymore. Noah won’t understand, but he will know that he behaved wrongly and won’t know why. He’ll be terribly sorry, sad, and disappointed. Mostly he just won’t understand why he can’t continue to play with their child. Why shunned? How do you explain to any child, let alone a special needs child why they are being shunned?

It’s easy to just shun a child.

07-13-25

Enough is Too Much

So, what has happened with Noah and school sense the last posting? The week after the last posting we were informed that Noah had sneezed and had a brief runny nose that required a few tissues early in the morning. This information was like a warning, like they almost had to send him home.

The following week, that being last week we were informed that Noah would be moved from Monday and Tuesday mornings to Thursday and Friday afternoon because his teachers were being fitted for N-95 face masks. After that he would be moved back to Monday and Tuesday. Rather that put Noah through that change we opted to keep him home. We later discovered that he would have been the only kid in the class because they usually do not have kids in the afternoons.

We found out more information through an employee and friend that we know in the school and is very familiar with Noah but does not work directly with him.  We were informed that the teachers and paras who work with Noah, keep the windows open with fans blowing the cold winter air into the classroom. This is due to their fear of catching the virus from the children, something that the CDC has repeatedly stated is rare and very unlikely. We were informed that the rooms are so cold that the teachers wear layers of clothing in addition to at least two coats in order to stay warm. On the other hand, the children are not allowed to wear their coats and must leave them in the hallway as the teachers are afraid that the childrens coats may contaminate the classroom.

Our informant tells us that there are no instructional games and virtually no social interaction between the three children is allowed. The three children are spaced apart so far as to prevent any communication. The classroom was described as “cold and sterile, both physically and figuratively”. Her recommendation was to keep Noah home.

What our son has been subjected to at the hands of the Mukilteo School district is inhumane and abusive. Their lack of transparency along with the restrictive isolation, and neglect in regards to the exposure to the cold while refusing proper clothing is more than a betrayal to us and our child.

Noah will not be returning!!!

Original Post: 01-26-21

Noah: Lost in the System

You may be wondering what happened to Noah after Tuesday, last week. Perhaps the emails we sent made a difference, as it turned out Noah had a much better day and came home happy. It wasn’t perfect, but much better. He was allowed to have a coat on the walks, and he did get some teaching.

We sent him to school with a face shield, he came home with the shield on over the top of a face mask. Apparently one devise is not enough protection from children.

It’s noteworthy to say that the “in person, half day’s” are currently only for Monday and Tuesday. We don’t know if that will change at all this year; no one knows.

Today Noah came home OK. It is difficult to really know how his day goes as Noah is not good at communicating things. This is very normal for an autistic child. It is pretty normal for a child who is not special needs.

As I mentioned last week, when Noah arrives to his class, at 9 am, he first gets on the computer for a zoom class with his General Education teacher and all his third-grade classmates. He did that at home, and still does for the remainder of the week. Noah cannot negotiate the internet process to zoom a class on his own. Truth is, neither can I, and his mom, who is a teacher struggles occasionally with the process; it changes often with little notification. Noah’s teachers have problems with it regularly. Today we find out that his teachers want Noah to learn to work through the process on his own.

Noah shares his classroom with two other students, fourth and fifth graders. With the three students are three “teachers”, one to each student. Noah missed his half hour zoom this morning because his instructor wouldn’t help him log on. She insisted that he had to do it on his own. So, he sat there confused and lost for the half hour duration of the class.

Perhaps it is difficult to do hands-on teaching while social distancing from six feet away.

Another email is already on its way.

Published in: Uncategorized on February 1, 2021 at 8:41 PM  

My Son, the Guinea Pig

What happened in Noah’s first day?

Yesterday, as reported in the previous story, was Noah’s first day back to school sense the China virus shut schools down in Washington State. As stated previously, Noah is an eight-year-old autistic third grader.

I gave you some of the procedures that all children face in order to attend school at the Mukilteo School District. These procedures came directly from the mouth of the principal at his school via orientation that I personally attended. What you read were the facts, and nothing but the facts.

What I didn’t give you was Noah’s academic schedule for the day.

This is what we were told would be his day.

First of all Noah would go through all the previously listed protocols. After arriving at the school and eventually introduced to his classroom, at 9:00 am Noah would go on Zoom for one half hour with his primary teacher to begin his day. At about 9:30 am Noah would have a brief break, (don’t know what that means, sense they don’t have recess), then he would have math for about 45 minutes, followed by another break, (???), followed by reading lessons for another 45 minutes, with perhaps another break??

School would end for him at 11 am where he would then go through the reverse protocols to get on the bus and be returned home.

Here is what actually happened.

All the afore mentioned protocols did occur, the masks, temperature checks, and hand washings. At 9 am no zoom with his primary teacher occurred due to the fact that his Para-Educator, (a fancy term for teachers aids), did not know how to properly connect the computer to the zoom class. The breakdown with zoom was not followed by math and math was not followed by reading. We don’t know why, Noah didn’t know why. He said he was bored because nothing was happening, and he was just sitting there. He told us that he told them, “I want to go home.”

At this time, I should also inform you of a couple other things. We were expecting Noah to be in a limited occupancy classroom with his pears, i.e., other third graders. What we found out was that he was in a classroom with fourth and fifth graders, absolutely no other third graders, no one that he knew.

Prior to my agreement to send Noah to school I expressed that under no circumstances did I want Noah to end up with a particular Para-Educator, whom I had witnessed as being harsh and mean to students. This was more an impression, not strong evidentiary.

It turned out that when Noah complained that he was bored and wanted to go home he was handed over to the very individual that I feared. She then took him on walks around the school, outside. Sounds nice until you find out that he was not given his coat and it was 38 degrees outside. When Noah got home one of the first things he said was, “I’m cold.” I didn’t think much of it until later, when I found out what had happened.

Needless to say, we sent an email to the teacher/para, asking for an explanation, and voicing our concerns, (trying, with much difficulty to be polite both in this post and in the email). The email was not addressed by the instructor it was sent to, instead it was responded to by the principal. In short, we were told that there are problems sometimes and that we needed to get on board with partnering up with the school and understanding that we need to continue to trust that the school is doing right by our child. Nothing about his classes and nothing in regard to being escorted outside with no coat on for long and repeated times.

I have been kind in the words I have chosen in this narrative of the events of Noah’s first day. A day that the school had the better part of a year to prepare for.

Noah is back at school as I write this, but without serious changes this will be his last day.

Noah say’s that he is sad, and I feel his sadness, and a few other things that I don’t dare express.

Published in: Uncategorized on January 26, 2021 at 7:30 PM

My Son: The Biological Weapon

Noah is an eight-year-old autistic third grader who starts back to school today. Today is the official start-up of school in his district, a district that resides in the democratic socialist state of Washington.

In the state of Washington teachers have been programmed to recognize children as bio-hazardous material that may be deadly to them and therefore must be treated with utmost caution. Hence, they are not to bring so much as a pencil to school, it may be contaminated. In order to get on the bus, the child must first present to the driver a filled-out form signed by a parent declaring that the child is free of an extensive list of symptoms. This, of course, will not get the child on the bus. In addition, the child must be waring a government approved face mask. That is still not enough. The child is then temperature checked by the driver; a medically trained state approved medical screener. The child is then directed to board the bus and seat in a strict socially distanced manner, speaking to anyone is strongly discouraged, and closely monitored.

Once the child arrives at the school his/her medically filled out papers are handed to the awaiting attendant prior to disembarking from the bus. Before the child can leave the bus he or she must then be temperature checked again by another medically trained screener. If the child has passed all those hurdles then the child, socially distanced from the teacher or attendant, is immediately escorted to a separate location where any warm clothing, such as a coat, hat, and gloves are removed, by the child, and stored until departure. Because these items are considered potentially contaminated, they are not allowed into the classroom. The child is then escorted to the nearest sanitized bathroom where they are directed to wash their hands for the medically approved time, at least 20 seconds. To ensure that the child adheres to those instructions he/she must sing a government approved song out loud during the cleansing process to help regulate the acceptable time. The attendant is listening and monitoring throughout this process. Ironically, the song most recommended is, “Happy Birthday”.

Once completed the child is finally escorted, socially distanced, to the classroom, and seated, again, socially distanced from any other child. In front of the child is a sterilized desk and computer where the child is now directed to begin his/her zoom classes.

If the child exhibits any symptoms during the class time, such as sneezing or coughing the child may be removed to a sterile, isolated room where he/she will remain until a parent or guardian can be notified to come and remove them.

If this sounds traumatizing to you in any way, imagine what it is like to any child, let alone a special needs child.

Welcome back to school Noah.

Published in: Uncategorized on January 25, 2021 at 11:47 AM