Fellowship vs. Church

I went to church this past Sunday, in honor of the assassination and martyrdom of Charlie Kirk. I don’t go to church very often. Jesus has been my Lord and savior sense the age of 17, I am now 71. Some might consider that feat a bit of a miracle, but in fact it is the result of countless miracles. I came to know Jesus as the Son of God during the Jesus movement in the early 70’s near Spokane, Washington. Then we were referred to as Jesus Freaks. That, primarily due to the fact that we would stand on street corners and tell passers-by that, “Jesus Loves You” and try to engage people into a conversation about Jesus, who He is and how they could have a relationship with Him as their Lord and Savior. We would pass out a news tabloid call “The Truth”, it was all about Jesus. We believed that churches were more like spiritual morgues, filled with lifeless tradition and a spiritual rendition of the living dead. We were determined to introduce to everyone that Jesus was alive and full of promise, love, joy, and eternal life. The movement was a simple faith in Christ, and that where there were three or more gathered together in the name of Jesus, that constituted the church. Church was revered to as fellowship. We sang songs about our faith and love for Jesus. It almost always involved bible studies amid questions and conversations about current issues and were frequented by personal confessions of sins followed with laying on of hands and prayer.

Like all movements it was eventually swallowed up by the complications of everyday life, disillusionment in self-proclaimed leaders and divisions.

I grew up, and at times apart from my faith. The challenges of marriage, family, work, etc. took its toll on my relationship with Jesus. That being true, Jesus was always there and as often as I stumbled Jesus would pick me up and remind me who I was and where and how to walk with Him. I would try finding fellowship with many different churches. For a time, I dedicated myself to reading the entire bible and studying both the Hebrew and Greek translations to better understand the Word of God, this went on for a number of years. In all of my walk with Christ I can honestly say that I have been punished, chastised, and tremendously blessed by my Lord and Savior. The bad was of my own doing, the blessings were from Him, and that is when the countless miracles often came into my life, of which I am a humble and grateful recipient of.

Between 17 and 71 I have lived many lives, (figure of speech), been to many churches and yet experienced little fellowship. I think church may be a place for anonymously worshiping God, but not much for personal fellowship with one another in Christ.

My wife has gone to a certain church off and on for over a year, I have only gone with her two or three times.

“You shall know them by their fruit”

I have watched an listened. I have mentioned the fellowship aspect to my wife on occasion. She tells me that they have “groups” for that. I have mostly been interested in one particular group setting, the one that involves our 13 year old, high functioning autistic son, Noah. Large churches today come prepared with age categorized groups. This is so that the adults have a place to dump their children off into the care of a church group leader, (another word for “babysitter”) so that the adults can gather together to worship God without child interruptions. I’m sure you know what I mean. Noah has gone to church every time my wife has gone. He does not like it. In all the time he has gone he has not made any friends. I do not know that anyone from his group has personally reached out to him, I don’t know either way. I do think that Noah would say so if someone approached him to be a friend, he is big on friendship. This is why he does not like to go, he doesn’t feel love or friendship, and I get that, I get that. It’s easy to blame me for not reaching out to strangers in a strange place to make friends, I’m an adult, capable of forcing myself into awkward introductions, but Noah isn’t, he’s autistic. He loves people, but if they don’t love him back, he knows that and will not want to be where he does not feel personal contact, warmth and…friendship. That’s church, not fellowship. For now, I will think about it and I will occasionally go, and Noah will go because he has to.

PS Going to church is not a bad thing.

Published in: Uncategorized on September 16, 2025 at 10:05 PM  Leave a Comment  
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Coming of Age

Noah turned thirteen last Saturday, May the seventeenth. He woke me up at around 6 am, calling out my name, “Dad”. I got up and went to his room, just down the hallway. I poked my head in his open door, “Yes Noah, what do you need?” “I’m a teen-ager.” he said, still half asleep, yet as jubilant as he could muster. So excited, this was a day he had waited for a long time. I had no idea just how important this day was to him. Noah thinks about many things, but he doesn’t share those thoughts readily. Every now and then something comes out of his mouth and it just kind of throws me back at how obviously he had been giving it a lot of thought. Turning thirteen was one of those things. Next thing he said was, “Can I open my presents now?” I had to tell him that he had to wait for mom to get up first, and that wouldn’t be for a while.

It was a big day for Noah, a big, outdoor party with lots of friends, a game truck, Nerf Gun battles, food and drinks, and all the presents that he had hoped for. God was kind as well, the forecast was for rain all day, but it hardly rained through out the day. Afterwards mom took him to a gathering at the Taekwondo headquarters for more games with friends, a play date event pre-scheduled for that day. When she got into the car to take him to the Taekwondo event Noah went straight to the passenger side of the front seat of the car. He was thirteen now and could legally ride in the front seat. Noah had obviously given it a lot of thought and was determined to exerciser that right. Not even the law could stop him from being a teenager. It was weird because he never seemed to talk much about it, but there was no hesitancy in the way he went directly to the front seat.

It is so strange to have him up front, but so cool at the same time. Welcome to the coming-of-age Noah. You’re growing up so very fast.

We love you.

Written May 17, 2025

Published in: Uncategorized on August 23, 2025 at 10:45 AM  Leave a Comment  
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Shunned

What happens when a special needs child sees one of his fellow students do something that causes those around to laugh. In Noah’s case he thinks the act done by his fellow student makes him popular with his peers. That means it’s something to be mimicked, even if it is inappropriate.  Noah may not be aware of the meaning of the act, or in some cases a phrase. Noah may repeat the phrase or mimic the act, and if it doesn’t result in the desired or hoped for response, he will do it over and over, hoping for that popular reaction or recognition, and acceptance by his peers. Noah, of course, has no idea why no one is laughing, he just keeps trying anyway, until someone complains. Eventually Noah is shunned for his behavior. Noah has no idea why he’s in trouble for something that others were applauded for. He has no idea why he is now being shunned by those that he just wants as friends.

Noah doesn’t understand, and it’s easier to shun than to explain. Society has been shunning special needs children for eons. It’s easy, everyone does it. Just tell them to go away, you don’t want to be friends with them. Parents tell their kids to stay away from them, they’re dangerous, don’t play with them. They will go so far as to tell the parents of a special needs child to keep their child away from their child. They don’t want to help the child understand what is not appropriate, they just want you to keep your child away from theirs.

My neighbor is that way. We were called, after 10 pm, and informed that our child behaved inappropriately with theirs and that they don’t want Noah around their child anymore. Noah won’t understand, but he will know that he behaved wrongly and won’t know why. He’ll be terribly sorry, sad, and disappointed. Mostly he just won’t understand why he can’t continue to play with their child. Why shunned? How do you explain to any child, let alone a special needs child why they are being shunned?

It’s easy to just shun a child.

Published in: Uncategorized on July 13, 2025 at 11:07 PM  Leave a Comment  
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